 | the reason for my problems I finally figured out what I can blame for anything that has ever gone wrong in my life. It's so simple; I don't know why I never thought of it before. Chain Letters. My curiosity always forces me to open them but my negative attitude toward their stupidity always prevents me from resending them. Over the years I have probably accumulated thousands of wishes of bad luck, hundreds of lost loves, a myriad amount of hate has crossed my path and a morbid acuteness for other variations of bad karma has been cast over me. For example, I opened one just a few minutes ago and was plagued with the following for not reposting:
-bad luck for 900 days
-will not get a boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 years
-will not have sex for 3 years
If I open just one chain letter a day but do not respond and then am sentenced to 900 days of bad luck and 3 years of no sex, in one week I have amassed 6,300 days of bad luck and will remain un-laid for the next 21 years! That's for just one chain letter a day for a week! Now put this together for about how long I have been receiving chain letters and the figures are astounding. If I keep this up, my virginity will regrow, I will live alone forever, my friends will all leave me, new-born babies will be born into the world with the instinctual notion to hate me and I will be forced to wander through numerous countries and continents on my nomadic journey to find someone who could find it in their heart, not to hate me.
I guess Curiosity actually did kill the cat...
Well, that and the failure to respond to chain letters. |
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